Dumb and Dumber

I am a huge Jim Carrey fan, so I was as psyched as anyone to hear that a sequel to Dumb and Dumber was in the works.  It is still questionable as to whether or not the film will actually get made, but that hasn’t stopped several professional athletes and sports franchises from auditioning this week.  Who would you cast?

1.  Jason Pierre-Paul and Steve Weatherford

Dumb: Throwing Prince Amukamara in a pool.  He’s your teammate and you could have hurt him.

Dumber: Posting the video online.  If you’re going to do something stupid, don’t leave evidence.  On top of that, it’s a huge distraction, because, instead of talking about football, we’re talking about this.

2.  Melky Cabrera and the Cover-up

Dumb: Taking a performance-enhancing drug.

Dumber: Creating a fake product and website to try to avoid suspension.

3.  The Boston Red Sox and the Washington Nationals

Dumb:   Making the Carl Crawford surgery debate public.  The decision is probably the right one, but the details should have been kept private.   If he went on the DL and it was announced that he needed surgery, fans would have accepted this.   Instead, it looks like the Red Sox are giving up.  To make matters worse, Cherington said today, “This is a long-term contract — he’s here for a long time — so we’ve got to be sure that we’re doing the right thing for him and ultimately for the team, too. This is not a short-term investment.”  To fans this reads, “This season is over and we need to start looking ahead towards next year.”  Again, Cherington is doing his job, but the Sox could have spun it better.

Dumber:  Shutting down Stephen Strasburg.  Crawford is hurt, but, by all accounts, Strasburg is healthy.  Nationals, take it from a Red Sox fan, there are no guarantees.  86 years we waited.  The city of Washington has waited 79.  Please, don’t make them wait even longer.  You have the chance to make history.  Don’t blow it.  Regardless of what happens next year or the year after that, if you sit Strasburg and don’t win the World Series, then you will always ask, “What if?”  Also, this has curse written all over it.  Don’t tempt fate or the baseball gods.  Play to win.

As Harry once said, “Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!”  I’m looking forward to these guys redeeming themselves–on the field.  In the meantime, let’s hope Dumb and Dumber To (the working title) makes it to theaters someday.